“A dark cloud is rolling in. It stretches all the way across the morning sky. No thunder, no rain, just ash and smoke sitting heavy above the palm trees and the roof of the house. By 11am, the sun is glowing through the clouds like an electric-orange moon. A few hours later, I pack up my car…
“The truth is, nestled in the depths of my heart is a desire that has waited patiently for years. I want to head north towards the redwood trees. To drive slowly up the coast smelling the wildness of the sea, traverse the rocky ground parallel to the nine grey wolf packs making their way through forests and over mountains, to where the bears are lying dormant until the spring. The truth is, I felt stuck in LA. We are all told it’s where we’re supposed to be. But the call of the north has now grown to a roar. To move forward, I must go back. Battle the air as I pack up the rest of my things. It feels like a quest. And now there are rains and mudslides and warnings about toxic ash and the Santa Ana winds that will return again and again…
“This is the city where I picnicked on the same ground as James Dean. Where Einstein taught, famous musicians lived and died, and the Hollywood sign got closer with every turn. Where I looked up at the night sky and saw my dreams in the stars and in the two beams of light crisscrossing above the Hollywood hills. They call it the city of sin but I believe you find the LA you’re looking for. The LA that was always in you. Japanese tea gardens, meditation centers, film crew, new songs, beaches, rolling hills, salt-of-the-earth friends. This was the LA I believed in. And now, under the weight of illness, I feel like I am wading through molasses trying to get out…”
Read Aminah’s full piece in Pipeline Artists Magazine.